What a Week

It's been a rough week with K gone I've never been this lonely when he was gone. For some reason this week I felt like a single and that I wasn't whole. He's going to be gone a lot again I think I got so use to him just being home all the time it was like starting all over again. But now he's home and all he wanted to do was sleep because he believe slept all was and of course I was pissed about it and he didn't seem to care. When he did get up he was pissed that I woke him up which in turn, turned in to a fight about why he doesn't want to spend time with me. So he stormed out of the house. I just went and laid in bed pissed off at him. He came in 10 mins later and hugged me which I told him doesn't make it ok. He said sorry and he should realize that I miss him when he's gone and the least he could have done was just lay in bed and watch movies with me. So we went to dinner and got Ice cream and then came home and watched movies. He apologized all night for being a ass. I like when he realizes what he's doing and feels bad because then he won't do it again.
Today I get to give him his V-Day gift which we usually don't do but he's been talking about how much his back hurts so I figured I would get him a Massage. He's going to be so excited!
Who knows what we're doing today nothing is set in stone yet but we'll see. I have tons of showings this morning with the Apartments and I'm really hoping to get them rented because then I'll get my Bonus for March.

Anniversary Party

So we had K's parents Anni party this weekend. It went very smoothly and I was so pleased with the turn out. Everyone kept telling me how sweet it was for me to do it and how great of a time they had. It made me feel really happy to have done it for them. They had such a great time and K's parents were so happy FIL was just in shock for about an hour haha. He just didn't know what to thing. I wasn't even sure if we were going to him there he was pitching a fit because we went going to have enough time to stop for a drink at the legion before dinner. I'm surprised he actually went HAHA. Over all it went smoothly and the food was great. It was fun to see everyone we hadn't seen since the wedding. Sunday K ended up getting the flu really back he couldn't even keep a cracker down. So when I just wanted to sit and relax and have some me time that couldn't happen because I was running around getting him something every half hour. But now he's gone for the week and I have a house to clean and laundry and bedding to wash. Hopefully next weekend will be quite HAHA probably not!

Life

I still don't have any leads on a job and I'm starting to get very faustrated. I feel like I've failed and I'm not going to bounce back. I know it' snot my fault but I feel that way. I feel like K is going to be let down if something doesn't happen. He's being so great about this all right now and not making a big deal about me not having something in line. He says everything will be ok but will it really? Who knows....
I'm pist because M didn't offer me at least two weeks paid even though she'll be getting unemployment and I can't. I'm so discouraged and I don't know what to do. I can't find a full time job because of that Apartment job I need something that I can still answer my work phone all day and that can't happen if I work in a day care or an office.
I'm to the point of asking my parents for a job and driving every day to Madison which is an hour away just so I can't have job security. I hate to use them as a fall back but I know they would trust that I'm reliable and I would be able to answer the phone for the apartments still. There are so many thoughts running through my head and I don't know what to do with them. When I try to talk about them they just don't come out correctly. K just tells me to keep on trucking along and we will all be ok.
But will we really?